refresh

Almost the end of two weeks of winter break, and I desperately needed a change of scenery.

#D-26

His timing

It's been a while since my last post.

something i learned from John 8

And as they continued to ask him, he stood up and said to them,“Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.” 8 And once more he bent down and wrote on the ground. 9 But when they heard it, they went away one by one, beginning with the older ones, and Jesus was left alone with the woman standing before him. 10 Jesus stood up and said to her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” 11 She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more.”

"He must increase, but I must decrease."

John 3:30 ESV

It's been 4 days since our daily QT sharing commitment for GMMA, and I've already learned so much. Thank You, God. 

2016 // a year of restoration

2016 will be a year of restoration. A year to mend broken relationships, a year to rekindle my love for God, and a year to discover who I am. 2016 is a year to rebuild. Looking back on last year and what I had accomplished, I realized that there was nothing. I asked God in the second half of the year to break me down and humble me and I realized that I had never taken my obstacles or hardships as Him doing so. Every hardship I went through, I was angry - angry with the world, angry at myself, and angry at Him. I hated life and I hated every second of the day. I realized I was unhappy. I wasn't satisfied with where I was, and I was constantly searching for other alternatives to fulfill this temporary happiness. 2015 was a year of jealousy. Everyone seemed content. Everyone had it all together. But I was here, alone. I was upset at myself - that I wasn't them... that I was lacking and ugly. I remember trying so hard to fit in and be loved. I wanted as many friends as I could, pushing those that were "irrelevant" away and squeezing myself in to these awkward friendships. In 2015, I realized how vulnerable I was. 2016 will be a year to accept this. Taking on a new job as a pharmacy technician, I learned more about myself. I wasn't as strong as I thought I was. I can't balance school, work, friends, and faith as well as I imagined. And so, my best decision was to cut my faith - to turn away from God and focus on the selfish worldly things of my life. I wanted money, I wanted experience. Pharmacy was my all and soon enough, I was working weekend shifts. I couldn't go to church and I used my scary boss as an excuse not to change my work hours. I naturally drifted away from God and didn't go to Sunday service at all starting August. I was angry and frustrated, constantly stressed. However, this is what I asked for. I asked Him to break me down. I asked God to humble me, but I wasn't taking it the way I should. Instead I made it a better reason to go out, to drink and smoke with bad influences. I remember talking to an unni about this, and she told me that I was unhappy because I wasn't spiritually well. Duh. Let go of your pride, Minjung. Open your eyes and you'll see what you're missing. I struggled with my faith the most in 2015. And because of it, I didn't know who I was. I didn't know what I wanted, and I realized I was living for my parents. 2016, I want to restore this. I want to focus on just me and God. Through Him, I want to mend all the relationships with people I pushed away, discover what my passion is, and become a better person.

to the incoming freshmen

June 4th, 2015. Today is the day McNeil High School's Class of 2015 walks the stage (congrats graduates!), and today also marks exactly one year of being a McNeil High alumni. Throughout my first year in college, I experienced many downs that could have been (potentially) avoided if I had this information before stepping into the college realm. Here is a list of 10 points that I have gathered (in no particular order) and have heard/applied in my life throughout my freshman year. Some are super cliché, but trust me they're true!

i: el fin

This past school year involved many changes and accomplishments, ups and downs, new experiences, happiness and disappointment. Here are some (as much as I can think of) unforgettable moments and lessons of my first year in college:

• registered for my first classes in college (BIO 311C, CH 301, PSY 301, UGS 302) 
• got pharmacy technician certified (!!!)
• had panic attacks because of that stupid exam... but I passed thank God 
• joined a campus ministry, ACTS
• met many new, interesting people 
• became friends with my future roomie <3: SJ
• had freaking fried chicken at 2 in the morning like why #freshman15 
• fmf <3: JK
• said hurtful things 
• did my first ever QT/Bible study 
• had the best small group (The BOYS) and small group leader, RL 
• went to UT/house parties (LOL ugh)
• got alcohol poisoning (LOL again ugh)
• managed a 3.8 first semester
• got my tragus pierced
• almost rushed for a sorority
• lost many friendships
• felt lonely and out of place 
• met someone to help me out of it <3: JY
• felt cheated
• went to my first ACTS spring retreat 
• tried so many different food/dessert/coffee places (Blue Dahlia, Halal's, Cream Whiskers, Michi, Cow Tipping, Chi'Lantro, Central Market, Gourdough's, Teji's, and so many more that I'm not gonna name because I'm slightly embarrassed)
• saw AJ Rafael!!!
• went to my very first (and last) UT football game 
• saw cool art exhibitions 
• went to Mount Bonnell for the first time 
• road-tripped to Dallas and had Boiling Crab for the first time 
• went to my first ACTS camping trip
• got sick multiple times (I hate dorms) 
• took many... many pictures
• went to IM games 
• pulled all-nighters 
• made stupid mistakes
• went to Trail of Lights for the first time 
• got in 2 car accidents 
• Rez Week!
• overdosed on caffeine 
• cried because of my grades, future, friends, parents' expectations, etc. 
• went on late night walks with SJ and RL and contemplated every aspect of our lives LOL 
• had many sleepovers at JY's <3 
• celebrated Easter Sunday with my ACTS fam
• attended my very first fashion show!!! (probably the best moment of my entire school year... it was so good)
• joined AED and LPPA first semester but wasn't as involved (currently on probation for AED wah)... Goal for next year: GET INVOLVED IN THESE TWO ORG'S. 
• been heartbroken 

This school year helped me learn more about myself. I've realized how jealous and selfish of a person I am and what I need to work on to become a better follower, friend, daughter, and sister. Freshman year was hard. I can't say that I didn't want to just give up. I was mad and bitter at every little thing, pushing my responsibilities and priorities aside. I was tempted in the beginning, going out to all sorts of parties, drinking and smoking. However without the certain handful of people I met this year, I have realized what's really important and what matters to me. I am looking forward to next year because I know I will grow and learn even more about who I am.

Michelle Joo